I interviewed Patrick in the living room of his home on the afternoon of April 20th. The two of us have known each other for a long time, so there was an easy flow to the conversation, and a good amount of laughter throughout, which isn’t necessarily reflected in this transcription. As I was about to ask the first question, I noticed that Patrick was making a quick adjustment on his phone, which he quickly put into his pocket.
Ben: “Are you silencing your phone for this important interview?”
Patrick: “Yeah – do you mind if I smoke?” [laughs]
Ben: “Ok, let’s see, first question. What do you think is the general definition of happiness in American culture?”
Patrick: “That would be, essentially, the American dream – where you have a job, and a family, and a house and are healthy and making money and climbing the ladder. That you’re always growing. That’s what happiness would look like, from the outside – that new, better, bigger things are happening in one’s life. You know, if someone’s like, ‘how are you doing?’ – ‘great, I just got a promotion,’ or ‘we’re going on vacation,’ or ‘we’re redoing the kitchen,’ and those things are signs that, well, ‘you must be happy then.’”
“Do you think happiness is a central idea in America, as far as what we’re all doing here?”
“I don’t think so. I think productivity is king in America. And all the tests show that we’re way down there compared to other countries in terms of happiness. I don’t think happiness is really something people talk about or really strive to achieve, because for a lot of people attaining it gets in the way of their goals – as far as careers, or education or whatever. Like for me personally, with work – and I’m trying to get better at it now – but you sideline a lot of happiness. If you have huge projects to get done, you’re not thinking about it. It loses its importance when you have a boss that’s on your case all the time. So happiness would be like going on vacation for a week, and then you get a week of happiness once a year, and then you go back to the grind or whatever, and that’s the American dream. There’s other countries – like a lot of Scandinavian countries – that have a really high happiness index because it’s important to them and it’s part of their culture. Like the Swedes and hygge and all that – they have words for different types of happiness. Here it’s like, ‘happy’ or ‘sad.’”
“But don’t you think there’s a general trend towards self-care, and well-being, and to some extent aren’t certain kinds of spirituality becoming more common? Do you think there’s a cultural trend towards thinking about well-being more?”
“Yeah, it’s definitely more common now that part of people’s routine is to do self-help type things. Like, I know – when it’s springtime and I get to go out and go for more walks, it makes me happier. And I know it does, and then in the winter I don’t do that, and it’s hard. But yeah, I think there’s a lot of new-age kind of wellness programs, a lot of them coming through social media and stuff, that people buy into that makes them feel better. Like yoga and stuff. Sorry dear!”
Patrick’s partner is within earshot, heating up leftovers for lunch. “Hey, if it works,” she calls out.
Patrick: “Yeah, right, exactly. And I think on the internet there’s a lot of very direct positivity campaigns – like for LGBT youth, the whole ‘it gets better’ and the anti-bullying campaign – it’s a lot progression towards making people happier. So there is an awareness and it’s almost driven by, well – there’s loads of depression and sadness currently, especially among young people or young adults. Like the numbers on middle-high school age kids with depression – they keep doubling. So I guess trying to combat that is trying to improve happiness. But it’s also on a really basic level. Like, ‘let’s get everyone okay, for starters, and then work up from there.’ And this is probably a kind of pessimistic world view, but it’s been a long winter and my back really hurts, so…”
Ben: “Sure –”
“But I definitely see that there’s trends promoting happiness, and openness, and respect, and things like that that bring happiness because people don’t feel like outcasts, or whatever. Society – or this country anyway – is pretty inclusive right now, compared to every other time in history, which I think is definitely positive for bringing happiness – whatever that is.”
“Do you have a personal definition of happiness?”
“I think if I’m smiling or laughing, you know – there’s activities that make me happy, like playing music, or getting done with a project, getting something checked off a list. As a personal definition, it’s probably kind of activity or goal focused, or just having a balanced life.”
“So it’s not like an emotional state for you?”
“Well, it is – it is an emotional state and there’s plenty of times where absolutely nothing is happening, and I just feel it. But definitely certain things will cause happiness. Yeah, a lot of times it’s tied to something, or is an effect of something, and other times it’s an effect of nothing. Just being, thinking about life as it is and just being. But I think I do definitely seek happiness, it’s something that I do actually look for or strive toward, ‘cause I think I purposely kind of inundate myself with negativity, whether it’s following politics or – things I know are not gonna make me feel good. So then I do seek to balance that out with things that do make me feel good.”
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Patrick’s take on happiness in America was interesting in that he identified it with the “American dream,” but also seemed to say that pursuing happiness isn’t actually on the minds of many Americans as they go about their daily life. Patrick has spent significant time working in conventional, corporate-type work environments, and I suspect that his views here are reflective of that experience. Whereas other occupations (like, for example, the occupations of some of the other people I’ve interviewed: artists, college students, retirees, etc.) might encourage thinking about things like personal happiness, it seems likely that corporate work environments would tend to offer few opportunities for that kind of reflection.
WHAT IS HAPPINESS? 